Not even a pin

Amma Asante

“Following tradition wasn’t necessary for me, but I did it out of respect for my parents,” begins town councillor Amma Asante [34]. “A marriage in Ghanese tradition is actually a union between two families and not necessarily between the man and the woman,” explains a smiling Asante. “And unfortunately a dowry is involved. In most cultures the dowry is meant to assure the woman, that after death or divorce from her husband, she is not left in financial insecurity.” Asante got to know this age-old practice when she got married herself. “I could not believe what I was hearing! What did they need a dowry for? I was after all financially independent of my husband?” To satisfy her parents, she did in the end undergo the entire marriage process according to her Ghanese grandparents traditions. “My husband first had to knock on the front door of my parental home. After that he had to ask my father for my hand. The bizarre thing was that everyone in my family already knew my boyfriend, but at that moment we had to pretend as if it was the first time he met the family. After the ‘getting acquainted’ the negotiation on the dowry started. Such a dowry consists of: cloths, liquor, an amount of money and an engagement ring. I thought I was worth more than that,” says Asante. “Every object has its symbolic meaning. The cloths were meant to make clothes. But the best thing my husband gave me, was a simple pin. Ghanese women are usually not content with the value of their dowry and say: ‘I didn’t get anything, not even a pin’. My husband’s family did add the pin, to assure that I couldn’t say that!”